Taxi Passenger

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over a curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me."The passenger, who was frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

The New York Taxi Driver

Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?"The man responds "My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York City Taxi driver for 14 years""Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden sceptre, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord."St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?" He responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord.""Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter.""Wait a minute," says O'Flannagan, "You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden sceptre, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?""Well," St. Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale, you see while you preached, everyone slept, when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!"